Over-excitable

Less than 48 hours to go, and my lover will be here - right here, in my flat - here, with me!

I wonder if he was as freaked out and nervous and worried about how everything looked before my first visit to his home? Laughing

Although I do seem to spend a hell of a lot of time online at the moment, I haven't really been devoting much time to this blog, which is a pity really. Maybe if I spent more time lurking inside my own head rather than blarting what passes for thought all over various websites I'd land myself in less trouble. Ah, but then you see, I'd never have met my lover, now would I?

I don't know. Maybe it is time to duck out of line online and get into the real world a little more. There's an awful lot of life to be lived. Should be a little easier to do from 5.13 pm or so on Thursday, at least until Tuesday morning, as my lover will be with me all that time.

I cannot wait.

I hate being away from him. Hate it. Hate how damn miserable I feel, not knowing how long it will be until we're together again. Huh - at least this time the separation is only for three days, then we have 9 days together, then three weeks after that another three days, then three weeks after that, another three days...That brings us to June, pretty much.

I don't know what's likely to happen after that. I don't know how much longer I can bear living like this for, though. I'm already dreading being apart from him again.

Life, hey?

Particle

A repost from SOI's z2cork, for my lover (who seems rarely to remember to check katelyn's 8 minute write posts).

There is not one particle of doubt about it in my mind. I am absolutely certain, as certain as it is possible to be.

I love you. I adore the way you think...I never met anyone so wickedly perverted as you, or so unashamedly happy about it. It's a certain look you get occasionally, the way you suddenly chuckle unexpectedly and your eyes go all twinkly. I know then you've something evil in mind for me, later.

I like knowing this, especially when we're out somewhere together and I know I'm going to have to wait to find out. Better still, I love hearing that chuckle and the grin in your voice when we're speaking on the telephone and something perverted crosses your mind.

And I just love finding something filthy waiting in my mailroom for me.

I wonder, if there was no distance between us, if we were able to be together all the time, would we still have those conversations? Is part of the joyfulness the agony of waiting for that release, for the rush of pleasure and pain, knowing that it will be weeks until we are next together? Would we lose that if there wasn't the distance, the waiting?

Do I want to find out?

Laughing.

What do you think?

When I Wake Up In the Morning...

there will only be one more week to go.

One more week. 7 days. That's all.

I'm really looking forward to the next couple of weeks, starting next Thursday. I am kind of nervous, though. I never wanted my family and the people in r/t I call friends to like someone I love so much before.

Of course, some of my friends already know you, they just haven't met you yet, and those friends I'm pretty certain are going to like you, a lot.

I know my brother has some concerns. I know he's worried that I have a terrible track record for choosing partners, from his point of view at least. I think the biggest factor for him is age. But he doesn't know you. The longer I spend with you, in whatever way, the more I get to know you, the less it matters to me.

I said from the outset that it was irrelevant, remember? Just a number? As you put it, all it means is you have more experience than me. I can deal with that. But it seems to raise eyebrows for a lot of people. When they know you, though - when they can see how we work together (because I do think that we do, very well), I'm hoping they'll be happy for us.

So. All very exciting, but very scary at the same time.

I am looking forward to it, though. And looking forward hugely to the week after and spending nearly ten uninterrupted days with you.

Bad Mood

The nastiest part of being in a bad mood is the vindictive urge to share the misery. Take it out on other people, that way you can feel even more self-centredly bad about yourself!