August Already

This year really seems to be flying by.

I measure time now in terms of how many weeks or days in between trips to Germany or visits from Germany, and not so much in months. We found out pretty early on that 9 weeks in between trips is longer than either of us is happy with, and really since March I think the worst we've had is approaching five weeks. Possibly six.

Sometimes five days feel like an eternity.

August is not my favourite month. I'm glad that I have a trip to look forward to, starting from August 16 when D flies over here for another dental appointment. We'll fly back together on August 20 and I get to stay out there till late on August 27. I don't much mind spending time around the house or walking round the local area while he's at work - the break is restful in itself, knowing I don't have anything to rush around for. And I love to take care of him, do things for him.

August 7 will mark the 6th year since my mother's death. It is never an easy time, and this year I suspect may be all the more difficult as it falls on a Tuesday this year, as did her death. The illness that took her life struck around teatime on Friday 3, so this weekend is likely to be hard also. It's hard not to remember in part the events of that time in 2001 - I count myself lucky that I have blocked out much of the detail.

The really bad time comes to an end after August 23, her birthday. She would have been 68 this year, had she lived.

I miss her constantly. I miss her wit, her insightfulness, her unstinting support of me and her unfailing willingness to let me know in no uncertain terms when I am being a prat. I count myself lucky that I am the sum of the best of both my parents. I feel the loss of all that she was to me more this time of year than any other. I would love to have her opinion on so many things...I think I miss that the most of anything.

I'd love to know what she made of D - my brother thinks both our parents would very much have approved of him, even if there is much that is unusual about our relationship. I tend to agree with that.