Calamity strikes

We have coined a new description for ourselves, my work colleagues and I who were out on the town on Friday night. Unfortunately if I told you what it was I'd have to kill you, because it involves the name of the firm where I work which would lead to identification of the guilty parties mentioned herein - or some of them at any rate.

Quite a night we had, too. Two of us started off having a meal in a Mexican restaurant near the office. Very nice indeed, first time I've ever had 'proper' Mexican food and it was lovely. Had something called lamb sonoran, a kind of huge soft tortilla, filled with a very mildly spiced tender lamb stew, smothered in salad with a blob of soured cream on top.

Unfortunately we also had a huge jug of margaritas and a pitcher of beer along with the food. By the time we got to the first bar just after half past seven, we were already quite fresh to say the least.

Being of a sensible nature these days, I had the obligatory shot to begin with along with a diet coke chaser, and made sure I alternated my drinks pretty much from then on.

We went to a couple of bars, then on to a club. Two of the five who ended up going out went off to get something to eat, and not long after uberboss texted L and tried to persuade her to go and join him in another club. He and the lads had been out on the tiles in Leeds, while we were out in Bradford, but they'd come back through. L had been texting him all night and he her, and the messages were getting a little on the ridiculous side. He started asking her whether she loved him, which she found a little alarming. Earlier in the day (back at work) he'd texted her to say he was very fond of her.

Anyway, to cut a long story short, the remaining three of us went over to the Loveapple to join him. What a dive...it made Sneeky (sic) Pete's down the Cowgate in Edinburgh look sleek and rich and glamorous, and if you know Sneeky Pete's, you'll know that that is saying a hell of a lot. The sort of joint where you can smell the weed as you walk in the door and there's a fight break out within five minutes, guaranteed.

I stayed at the bar holding the coats and getting another round in, while L and E went off to the ladies, L to fix the rain damage to her hair and makeup. I wasn't too keen on being left, especially as there was no sign in the bar area of the menfolk, but as the place is made up of a maze of small rooms, that didn't surprise me.

When the girls came back, L told me that uberboss and the lads were literally just leaving and almost immediately they walked past us - for some reason uberboss felt the need to stroke my midsection as he passed me!

L was absolutely livid and immediately texted uberboss to demand an explanation - apparently uberboss' nephew who also works with us was ill and they had to rush him off to hospital: he looked fine to us when they were all leaving, no rush there or anything of that nature. L told him she didn't believe a word of it and he sent her a message back that he loves her and would never do anything to hurt her! I told her that was immediate back right off this second material and she seemed to agree, I think it really quite shocked her.

Unfortunately for L, she neglected to delete her message inbox on her mobile and her husband read the texts from last night, including the 'I love you and would never do anything to hurt you' message that uberboss sent after she accused him of playing silly buggers with her getting her over to the Loveapple and that she was angry and upset and wanted nothing more to do with him. And her husband checked her mobile this morning and read it...